When I returned to my brother's
humble dwelling, I didn't have the heart to tell him. I didn't want
to disappoint him.
I had so much more to
learn and now had to continue my artistic research alone. I didn't
know where to start. My life was changed by this sad event and I
hadn't foreseen an alternative course. I had been so confident of
my capacity to succeed. I thought I would be my brother's houseguest
only a short while. I had nowhere to go and no resources. No one
could help me. My room in Tatvan was taken by my brother, Murat,
who had just married. I asked him by letter if he could make an
addition to the house and take me in. His response was; "Stay
at Istanbul and find yourself a job!".