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   The municipality of Tozkoparan had washed its hands of the Kurds. It was not interested in their problems, much less their garbage. No sanitation service was available, with the ensuing health problems. The cold and the dust came into the houses through every crack in the wall. One morning we were surprised to find a two-foot snake under my bed. I got used to living this way. My brother was very courageous.
   The day of the entrance exam, there were hundreds of candidates at the doors to the academy. I felt very satisfied with my effort at the end of the test and was confident that I had made it.
. The 27th of October, 1973, the list of those having passed the exam was posted outside the academy. I didn't find my name on it. I had been eliminated and my dreams turned to bitter fruit. I collapsed on a bench in a small square a few hundred feet from the academy and wept. It was the greatest disappointment of my life.                                                   

   When I returned to my brother's humble dwelling, I didn't have the heart to tell him. I didn't want to disappoint him.

   I had so much more to learn and now had to continue my artistic research alone. I didn't know where to start. My life was changed by this sad event and I hadn't foreseen an alternative course. I had been so confident of my capacity to succeed. I thought I would be my brother's houseguest only a short while. I had nowhere to go and no resources. No one could help me. My room in Tatvan was taken by my brother, Murat, who had just married. I asked him by letter if he could make an addition to the house and take me in. His response was; "Stay at Istanbul and find yourself a job!".